It Is Definitely A Man's World

It Is Definitely A Man's World,

But Only if he speaks through his

vagina

"...He was ecstatic to be told that they could have children. That is until he learned that hell would also have to freeze over and any child would have to climb from her deceased corpse..."

Mr Frank Newman, ex customer services manager of Who Cares Limited, sits attentively at home with his child in his arms, still bemoaning the fact that he hasn't got any tits.The baby is bathed and its nappy has been changed, but it still cries because there is no milk to speak of.That particular natural source of baby's food dried up long ago, as mom grew a pair and burned her bra to desert the brat for a golf caddy and a pair of power shoes.

Unbeknown to Frank, she would later grow even bigger and hairier ones and leave him because he would no longer be the man who could give her a hard on. That task would instead belong to Steve, a young man with enough testosterone to father a field of bulls. Steve would also be masterful, have more hair and still be able to find a use for his dick... regularly.

It wasn't because Mrs Newman wasn't keen on so called woman's work, it was because a man has to do what a man has to do. In this instance she told her man he had to stay at home, purely for economic reasons, of course!

It was always "either or" with the Newmans, there never seemed to be compromise. I can remember the row they had buying their house, if you can call it a row, When they were house hunting Frank always had to ensure he checked with Mrs Newman before getting too carried away, whereas Mrs Newman was always sure that "Frank would love this one" when she told him about it. She didn't want to be left out of the couple's decision process and he didn't want to undermine her position in the family. It was like that with baby Tamara too.

One evening frank was on his way home when mortality struck. He decided he wanted a son to carry on the family name, forgetting that daughters carry family traditions and names equally well. He was ecstatic to be told that they could have children. That is until he learned that hell would also have to freeze over and any child would have to climb from her deceased corpse before Mrs Newman gave up her keys to the executive trough that she had worked so hard to muddy her snout in. A man's world can do that to a woman, but so can dragging your balls along the thirty seventh floor in a desperate bid to prove you are as good as any of your male competition... sorry she actually means colleagues, in a bid to rise to the heady executive heights of the thirty eighth floor.

Things always seemed to get worse when Frank tried to assert himself, as well. In those moments Mrs Newman always became anxious. She knew she was taking a risk telling him he needed to give in to his feminine side. But when Frank spoke up she knew she was dealing with a woman and any response therefore had to be swift and decisive. If it wasn't, Frank would soon be going out to bars and meeting females, as opposed to remaining loyal to the almost androgynous metrosexual pairing they were. She knew he didn't want that because they had discussed it and he had whole heatedly agreed he didn't. It's amazing what you notice on the ceiling in such moments.

I did tell you there was never compromise. Sometimes lies to keep the peace, but never compromise. It was either they did things her way or he had to go. After all, she had explained it to him when she decided to date him and she knew that he wasn't dumb enough to think he could change her mind after she explained herself. But as long as he doesn't cry, invoking the final weapon of a beaten soul, then things would be alright for them.

I wonder if I should show Frank the dictionary definition of the term virile, before Steve inserts a little virility into the Newmans' future. I could save him the misery of a once a month relationship with his driveway, or even his daughter. It seems judges and lawyers still think that a divorced denizen of the thirty seventh floor with a nanny makes a better parent, compared to a father who sacrifices his career to be at home with baby. It really is shit being a man and not having any tits and not just for the baby trapped at home with its biological milk free father either...